Is the “Sjalli-Kiss” Dead? – Daring to Be Present in the Age of AI

For those unfamiliar with Icelandic nightlife culture: Sjallinn (formally Sjállinn, “The Vision”) was a legendary nightclub in Akureyri, the capital of North Iceland. In its heyday, it was the pinnacle of youth entertainment — live music, dancing, and the kind of carefree, uninhibited atmosphere that defined growing up in a small Icelandic town. The “Sjallasleikur” (literally the “Sjalli-game” or “Sjalli-kiss”) was the playful tradition of kissing strangers on the dance floor — a rite of passage, a signature of the carelessness and freedom of youth, and something that could only exist when no one was watching too closely.

Recently, I sat down for a podcast conversation at the University Equality Days alongside two remarkable women: Dr. Gréta Bergrúna Jóhannesdottir and Bergrós Ásta Guðmundsdóttir, a student and handball player. The title of our talk was equal parts provocative and playful: “Is the Sjalli-Kiss Dead?”

At first glance, it sounds like a lighthearted joke. But the question has deeper roots than you might think.

The Kiss That Became a Symbol

The Sjalli-Kiss is really a symbol of something much larger: it represents the freedom to make mistakes, to be impulsive and human, without having the moment recorded and judged by thousands of strangers.

Bergrós Ásta described a reality that is in many ways unlike the one my generation grew up with. Granted, digital cameras had arrived during my golden years at Sjallinn, and some websites posted photos from the parties — so we didn’t escape entirely. But the difference is still night and day. Back then, selected photos might end up on a website that a few people browsed and no one remembered a week later. We saw the beginning of surveillance culture, but today’s young people live in the eye of the storm. Any moment can go viral in an instant, and young people hesitate to let loose — whether at a nightclub or in everyday life — out of fear of ending up as a video on social media.

If we live in constant fear of the camera, are we truly living at all?

From Surveillance to Simulation

This question led our conversation to an unexpected place. Because surveillance culture isn’t just about what others see of us — it’s also about what technology makes of us. We discussed how AI is beginning to mimic voices, create synthetic friends, and even open the door to digital immortality: having conversations with digital replicas of our loved ones after they’re gone.

But is that desirable? Or does the existence of such technology simply remind us of something we know in our hearts: that the time we share together is limited, and that true presence, touch, and eye contact can never be replicated by an algorithm?

This is, in fact, what I’ve been focusing on in my work in recent years — the technology revolution isn’t solely about complex software and algorithms. It’s first and foremost about how we live and experience the present moment.

Technology Should Serve, Not Rule

The conclusion of our conversation was far from pessimistic. On the contrary, we agreed that the solution lies not in banning or fearing technology, but in engaging with it mindfully and deliberately. We need to teach young people — and remind ourselves — to put down our phones and enjoy the present moment. We need to create space for making mistakes without them haunting us for a lifetime. And we should use technology to solve problems and foster creativity, but never let it replace human connection.

The Sjalli-Kiss is hopefully not dead. It just needs a little privacy.

I warmly encourage you to listen to this lively and entertaining conversation below.